The Thing Is...

I was tired of driving, so I parked, got out, and climbed onto a low flying cloud. The thing is, clouds are puffy and soft, so you don't want to get off. I rode for a while.

The cloud stopped over Antarctica. The cloud broke apart as it snowed. I fell. The thing is, snow drifts are soft but not that soft, so it hurt when I landed.

I got up and walk around. I shivered. I found some penguins and got between them for warmth. The thing is, penguins are like portable room heaters that are not adjustable, so I started to sweat. I pushed the penguins away to cool down, and I turned into an ice cube.

Time passed. Months. Soon came the spring thaw. I was able to move again. I walked to a service road. I hitched a ride with a park ranger. The thing is, they rarely see people, so the park ranger wouldn't stop talking, and it gave me a headache.

The park ranger dropped me off at the boat dock and I got a ride from a barge heading to South America. On arriving, I caught a flight back to Chicago. Once there, I took a cab to my car. The thing is, if you leave your car sitting for a long time, the fluids get dank, and it can become hard to start your car. I called a tow truck. They brought my car to the shop, and six hours and $2,406 later I got in and drove home.

The thing is, it's easy to put things in perspective over time, but this never helps you in the moment when you most need it.