Rough Patch

Mary Todd Lincoln, President Lincoln's wife, joined me in my garden.

Mary Todd said, "When I was alive, I spent most of my days tending to the White House garden. I was desperate for tenderness and soft pettles were my dearest of friends."

I said, "I don't grow anything tender. The bugs and the weather have a way of devouring and destroying them. I prefer growing turnips and beets."

Mary Todd Lincoln became downcast. I felt like an idiot. Mrs. Lincoln was looking for some kindness and I was being rough-hewn.

So I said, "Um, you look kind of nice."

Mary Todd Lincoln blushed and fluttered her eye lashes and said, "Oh my! Why you are much, much, much too kind sir!"

Oh my God, I hit on Lincoln's wife!