What the bear said

I was walking through the woods when I came upon a bear who said he knew you. The bear had some good things, and some embarrassing items to say about you. I didn't say anything because you're an enigma to me, and I was curious. 

The thing that most interested me was a story about how you were once one of the early sidewalk toll collectors. People that wanted to pass through gave you a lot of grief, but in the end, everyone paid.

The Shrine

I took a trip to the burial place of former President Andrew Johnson in Greeneville, Tennessee. I laid the wreath, said a few words, and shed a tear. Then I got in my car and drove away. 

That's when the ghost of President Johnson suddenly appeared in the passenger seat and said, "Where we going?" 

I said that I was planning on catching a plane at the airport and flying back home. 

The ghost of President Johnson said, "But I thought you like me." 

I said that I honored his grave because no one else was. Kind of like admiring a dandelion.

The Quandry

God and I stood and watched the Ocean. I asked God if theoretically I was the Ocean or the wave.

God groaned and said, " I invented what we're looking at so you would stop asking me these ridiculous questions."