Thinking It Would Be Better

I was frustrated with the way things are, and I decided it would be easier to go back in time, back to when things were simpler and easier.

I ended up in July 1st, 1863. I was in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. It turns out it was the first day of a three day battle during the American Civil War. There was a few second thrill of actually seeing something that I read about in American History in high school. But then it became treacherous as I was shot at and almost bayounted. Plus it was extremely loud. I don't know how people went to war and didn't go deaf.

I shot ahead to July 2nd, 1880. I was in Washington, DC. It was an exciting time. Horse and buggies shot by me on the street. Many people had beards. Women wore dresses that made them look like walking flowers. I thought, "Yes, a better time." But then President James Garfield walked by, there was some shouting and then shots ran out. Someone yelled, "The President has been shot!" I thought, "Oh, Jeez! This is ridiculous!"

Then I ended up on a beach in Europe. There was no one around. It was so relaxing. I thought, "Yes, finally!" But then I thought, "Wait, Europe, June 6th,1944...Normandy Beach. Oh, no!" Suddenly American troops began landing on the beaches. Bombs were exploding all around me. Gun shrapnel flew past me like rain. One scraped my arm. It hurt like hell. I began bleeding all over the place. I thought, "That's it!"

I was back to where I began. I thought, "Oh, this is nice..."