My great great great grandfather, Leonard Palmer, invented Leap Frog. At one point no one played leap frog, then along came Leonard. He was an innovator. I'm told Leonard invented Leap Frog at the age of four. He was also co-writer of Patty Cake. He came up with that when he was nine. From that point on there were a lot of expectations placed on Leonard to always be great. The pressure was too much and he developed a debilitating addiction to Clark Stanley's Snake Oil Lineament.
Leonard spent ages 10 to 21 in state mental institutions. It was during this emotional incarceration that he invented Radium. Upon release Leonard sold the Radium formula to Andrew Carnegie, which lead to A. Carnegie's Fine Products brand radium-based baby food.
My parents wanted me to follow in Leonard's footsteps. They enrolled me in Bickman's Pre-School for Advanced Toddlers. Bickman's felt that if you relentlessly poked and prodded a youngster's proclivity for making things up, he would actually come up with something useful. I came up with Bayer's Children's Aspirin as a result of the incessant headaches I developed while enrolled at Bickman's.
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Damn, you're funny.
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