Helpful Tips When Time Traveling

I was in the bookstore, reading an article about the Beatles when I heard the crackling sound that occurs as I travel back in time. Suddenly there I was at the Abbey Road studios in London. It was August 8th, 1968. I know because I saw a newspaper and I checked the date.

I always try and check the date when I time travel. It helps me avoid the embarrassment of talking about something that hasn't occurred yet. I learned this the hard way when I time traveled back to England and the court of King Henry the 8th. I made a joke about the execution of Anne Boleyn. But the thing I didn't realize it was 1538. Anne Boleyn didn't die until the following year. Anne Boleyn was in the room and said, "Well, that's news to me." I pretended I was chocking on a chicken leg and abruptly excused myself.

So, there I was at the Abbey Road studios. The Beatles were in the midst of making the White Album. I knew not to mention anything about their breakup in two years. The lads were recording the song Yer Blues. I couldn't believe it. It's an amazing song, even with all the suicide references. I said, "Oh man, I love this song." John Lennon looked up from his guitar and said, "How could you, I wrote it a f@#cking half-hour ago?"

Actually there's no way to avoid embarrassment when time-traveling.