I used to be a Pharaoh in Egypt. I was called Narmer. It sounds exciting. But it was an exhausting job with a lot of responsibilities. Eventually I had to fake my own death to get out of it. I took herbs that made my heart slow down to one beat a day. It was very relaxing.
Last week I was feeling nostalgic for the old days and I visited my pyramid in Abydos, Egypt. I flirted with the lady in the gift shop and told her that it's my pyramid. She called security. I was brought to their office where they did a DNA check on me. When they found out I was telling the truth, the put me back in the tomb and sealed it up.
Luckily there's free wifi!
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