Money Problems

I won $32,000 in a local lottery. I was paid in cash. I had a hard time trying to stuff the bills into my wallet. It was impossible to then fold my wallet. I put my wallet in my pocket and half of it stuck out of my pocket. I was paranoid that someone would see all my money and try and rob me. I held both my hands over the extended wallet and proceeded to the bank to deposit my winnings.

On my way to the bank, I decided to stop and get a coffee. I took out my wallet to pay for the coffee. But I had an extremely difficult time trying to take out a bill. The person at the register tried holding the wallet and I pulled on the bill, but it wouldn't budge. People in line behind me got upset. The person behind me paid for my coffee just to get me out of there.

I went to the bank. I took out my wallet and gave it to the bank teller and asked her to deposit it. She said I would have to take the money out of the wallet so she could count it. I told her about my dilemma. She called the bank manager. He examined my wallet and asked the janitor to come over. The janitor took out some tools and tried to dismantle my wallet. He tried using a screwdriver, and sprocket wrench, and a small hand saw. But the cash wouldn't budge. By then the bank was closing and I had to leave.

I went home and had a hunch to put the wallet in the freezer. The frigid temperatures have a way of shrinking things. In the morning I took my wallet out of the freezer. The money slipped right out. I put the money in a pillow case and brought it to the bank. The embarrassing thing was that I didn't factor in the bank teller's reaction to my Speed Racer pillow case.