Friday

Friday just showed up.

I said, "What do you have in store for me today?"

Friday took the cigarette out of its mouth, coughed, and said, "Dude, I just got here."

Construction

I looked out the window at a bird trying to build a nest. It was having a difficult time.

The bird looked at me. I nodded.

The bird looked at it's attempt of a nest, looked back at me, and shrugged its shoulders.

Delivery

This morning I found a package on my front porch. August had arrived early.

I picked it up and shook it to see what it might contain. It made some curious sounds. But I haven't a clue.

Wishing Well

I went to the wishing well. I just stood there.

The wishing well said, "Well, are you going to ask for what you want or not?"

I said that I was okay with just standing.

The wishing well said, "I'm not sure what to do with that."

Just looking around. Not much to do.

Maybe I'll build an ark.

The Trip

Here I am enjoying flying first class across the Ocean. It was like having my own room on the airplane. I could have invited two people from coach to join me and still been cozy. My wife and I lucked out 2 B able to do this with airplane miles. The wealthy people around us took being there in stride. But we were like kids in a candy store taking every free amenity. I'm actually wearing American Airlines PJs!

My wife took this picture at the Tate Gallery in London as I desperately try to not lick the Turner.

God said, "What a great day!"

I said that sounded conceited.

God said, "I'm having such a good time that even you can't bother me!"

Sometimes I want to lay down on myself when I'm sleeping for a double rest.

Let's applaud yesterday. It was made of mint and it was delicious!

Two Friends Meeting Up Under a Microscope

Sometimes...

Sometimes I turn into a puddle of water on the street.

Birds fly down and use me for a bath. During the middle of their wash I say, "Look out, here comes the cat!"

The birds freak out and say, "Where, where?!?"

Bed Story

I didn't get out of bed all day.

God came by asked me what was up. I said that some days are overwhelming and seem easier spent on a mattress.

God asked to try. I said sure.

God lay down on the bed next to me and was asleep and snoring within minutes. Because it was God, it sounded like a hurricane.

I couldn't take it and got up out of bed.

My Home

I have a house made of rubber. I'm allergic to mold, and rubber is the only thing mold won't grow on.

I get around the house by bouncing.

When I want to go to sleep, I lay on my rubber bed. I have to wait a few minutes for the bouncing to stop so I can fall asleep.

The rubber toilet is a problem.

The Walk

I took a walk along Lake Michigan with President Obama. I said that he looked tired. I asked when was the last time he slept.

President Obama said, "I'm guessing about a month ago."

I said that I was tired too.

President Obama said, "Why are you tired?"

I said, "Too much cheese."