Birch

I was eating at my dining table when the birch-wood it was made from woke up.

The table said, "What the hell is this?"

I said, "You used to be a tree, but now you're a table."

The table said, "This sucks!"

I said, "Do you want me to bring you back to the forest?"

The table said, "What good is that going to do me?!!"

There was some awkward silence. 

I said, "I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

The table said, "I apologize for getting upset at you. It's not your fault."

I said, "I like that you told me what you felt."

The table said, "I liked that you listened."