Some Money

I saw a hundred-dollar-bill on the ground. I didn't pick it up.

The hundred-dollar-bill said, "Hey, what's the deal?!"

I said that I didn't need the money.

The hundred-dollar-bill began to cry. I picked up the hundred-dollar-bill, rocked it in my arms and said it was going to be okay.

The hundred-dollar-bill fell asleep in seconds.