Dickens

The ghost of Charles Dickens appeared in my living room. He immediately started talking about himself. 

At first I was amazed because it was Charles Dickens, and he was dead. But after a little while it's hard to listen to someone just talking about themselves. 

So I tried talking about myself. 

The ghost of Charles Dickens got upset and said, "What is that which you are doing?!" 

I said that I was trying to say what I had for lunch. 

The ghost of Charles Dickens said, "Oh that I could exchange the wealth of all my writings for the return of my abilities to once again, bite, chew, and taste."