Wish

I went to the wishing well. 

I tossed in my quarter and said I wished I was happy. 

The wishing well said it had quit recently and was now just a well. 

I asked if I could get my quarter back. 

The well said it wasn't able to physically give me a refund. 

I said okay and asked the well why it quit. 

The well said it wished for a more quiet life. 

I apologized for the interruption and walked away.

Light

I waited for the Sun to come up. It didn't. 

Around noon I went out to my yard and yelled up at the dark sky for the Sun to come out. 

I heard from the far, far off distance, "I don't feel well. I'm not coming in...Can you sub for me?" 

I grunted and went back in the house and got out a flash light and went back outside. 

I shone the flash light around till about seven. 

I went back inside. I was exhausted.

Lounging

God and I were lounging in my backyard pool. 

I said that I wished I wasn't so lazy. 

God asked me why. 

I said I didn't know.

Comparison Shopping

I was bored, sitting on my couch, looking at the wall. 

I looked away at a mouse running across my floor. The mouse disappeared through a hole in the wall. 

I wished I had that kind of get up and go. 

I looked back at the wall. 

I felt better when I realized that this suited my nature.

A Snack

Last night I woke up to a jaguar standing on my chest. 

I said hi. I guess I wanted to have one nice moment before the end. 

But then the jaguar said it had escaped from the zoo and was hungry and wondered if I had any food it could eat. 

I went to the kitchen and made some scrambled eggs and put them on a plate. The jaguar ate the eggs and thanked me. 

I thanked the jaguar for not eating me. 

The jaguar said, "Oh, I hadn't thought of that."

.

Sometimes I don't know what to say.

Driving

I had a long day. 

I left work for home. 

On the way home I got a flat tire. I got out to change the tire. I replaced the flat with a spare and drove again. 

I got another flat. I didn't have another spare. 

I sat in my car while other cars zipped by. 

I told my car I was upset. 

My car said, "I'm sorry." 

It's hard to stay upset with someone after they apologize.

Vegas

I was feeling restless and went to Vegas to gamble. 

I won $10,000 playing blackjack. But I still felt antsy. 

So I drove out into the desert till my car ran out of gas. I got out of my car and started walking. 

I couldn't see where I was going and walked into a cactus. 

I apologized at the same time as the cactus. We simultaneously asked if the other was okay. We both laughed. 

I said I felt good for the first time in a while. 

 The cactus concurred saying it had been feeling lousy since a flicker had burrowed in its trunk.

Cloudy

I was laying on my back in my yard looking up at the passing clouds. 

A cloud stopped and looked down on me. I winked. The cloud winked. 

I motioned for the cloud to come down to me. 

Soon I was clouded in mist. 

We talked about our day so far. We shared a few secrets. 

After a while the cloud said it had to go. 

As it lifted, I looked around and saw that I was now in an unknown field. I couldn't believe the cloud tricked me like that. 

 But then I thought about it and realized I'd be needing to get away.

Night

I woke up in the middle of the night.

I got out of bed and went to the living room and sat in the dark on my couch. I looked around at the silhouettes of my furniture.

One of them started moving. I thought it was a ghost. But it was my LA-Z- Boy recliner.

I asked where it was going.

The LA-Z-Boy recliner said it was going to the bathroom.

The sound of one hand clapping is the sound of the next nearest thing being hit.

Omen

A hawk alighted on the tree branch outside my window.

I said, "What special message have you brought me?"

The hawk said, "Dude, I'm tired."

Visitation

Three angels appeared in my living room. 

I bowed, shook, and blocked their bright light from my eyes. I asked to what did I owe this honor. 

The angels laughed and said they were there to steal my TV. I laughed. 

The angels stopped laughing and said they were serious. 

I said I thought angels only did good. 

The angels said it would be good for them to have my TV. 

As the angels left with my TV I felt blessed.

Dig

I dug a hole in my backyard. 

I like digging and didn't notice the time passing. 

Soon I reached the center of the earth. It was a vast series of pullies, gears, and fast spinning belts. 

A maintenance guy noticed me and nodded. 

I nodded back.