Buchanan

I was relaxing in my living room when I was joined by the ghost of the 15th President of the United States, James Buchanan.

I said that I was honored. Actually I feel that way about everyone that visits me. I think it's called co-dependence.

The ghost of James Buchanan said, "It's good to be where one feels appreciated. When I held the high office of the Presidency, I was under constant abuse from the members of Congress. I can still hear their words clanging in my head like the mad cacophony of the devil's bells!"

I said that Mr. Buchanan was held in high-esteem as the greatest of the U.S. Presidents. I made that up too. I think I have a problem.

The ghost of James Buchanan had tears in his eyes. He said, "No news could make my heart swoon more!"

I said that none of us is truly appreciated while alive. When I was a lad, I spent so much of my time at school wearing the dunce cap, that my head became shaped like a cone.

The ghost of James Buchanan said, "I was curious as to the peculiar shape."