Easy Living

I made a house of balsa wood. It didn't take very long to make. About two weeks. I moved in and felt good about living in a home that I made myself.

I discovered the great thing about balsa wood is its lightness makes it easy for renovations. If I don't like a wall, I take it down in a minute. If I want a new room, I take some balsa scraps and quickly arrange it.

Another nice thing is termites hate balsa.

I do have to be careful because of the wood's soft and light nature. I step carefully. I can only hang the slightest of pictures on the walls. And I have to balance the furniture or else the home tips to one side.

Sometimes when it gets windy, I wish I reconsidered and gone with oak. But I know me, I would have run out of patience and never finished.

Taciturn

I went to the well in my backyard. I pulled the rope and drew up a bucket of water. I leaned my head towards the well and said, "Thanks, I appreciate it."

The well was silent.

I said, "Um, excuse me, is everything okay?"

The well said, "I'm sorry, but today I'm inclined towards silence."

I said, "Okay, I understand."

I unhitched the bucket of water and brought it inside. I poured some it in my dog, Blurr's, bowl. He lapped most of it up. I said, "How was it?"

Blurr said, "Good."

I poured myself a glass of water and drank it.

I said to Blurr, "Do you think the well's okay?"

Blurr said, "I don't know. I guess. Can you take me for a walk?"

I said, "Yes."

I took Blurr for a walk. We didn't say much. Even the trees were kind of silent.

Home

I flew back to Chicago. It was nice to be home. It had been a busy two weeks on the road. I unpacked and then went out to my backyard to relax in my hot tub. I turned on the jets of hot water and got in. I leaned back and looked at the stars.

An owl that lives in the neighboring chicory tree flew down to edge of the hot tub. The owl said, "May I join you?" I nodded.

The owl got in. It held its wings over the edge and floated next to me. We sat in silence.

A squirrel couple that lives high up in the oak tree came down and climbed to the tub's edge. They said, "May we?" I nodded. They came in and sat one on each of my knees and relaxed with their heads just above the water. I closed my eyes and relaxed.

When I opened my eyes, there was the raccoon, floating with it's arms hanging out over a bicycle inner tube. It raised an eyebrow for my okay. I winked.

I felt a wave of happiness and thought, "I can't remember where I've been the past two weeks."

Trying to Relax

I was feeling overwhelmed. I got out my shovel and went to the woods. I dug a four foot deep hole and then sat inside of it. I closed my eyes and relaxed. I started feeling better.

A grizzly bear looked over the edge and said, "Excuse me, but what are you doing down there?"

I thought, "God, can I ever get away?"

New Look

I'm working on a series of biographies that present a new look into the lives of famous people. Rather than point out their amazing accomplishments, I'm focusing on the mundane aspects. Here's an excerpt from, "Baltimore Resident: Edgar Allen Poe":

"Poe finished his meal and brought his dishes to the sink. He began washing the larger plate. He missed a few spots because he was tired. He finished washing the rest of the dishes. He got ready for bed. He lay under the covers and blew out the candle. His mind mulled over the day. He thought he would never fall asleep. But, as it always happens, he was soon dreaming."

Water

I rented a motorboat and took it out on the ocean. I got about a mile out when I found myself caught in a massive whirlpool. A part of me was terrified of going down this immense drain. Another part was in awe of its size and power. I tried to turn out to calmer waters, but I was sucked down into the depths. I ended up underwater. The funny thing is, I held onto the wheel because I thought I could steer the boat back up to the water's surface, I didn't realize a boat is not like a car.

I rode the boat to the bottom of the ocean. I actually sat there for a while. I think I must have been in some kind of shock. Luckily a swordfish came by and lightly tapped me on the shoulder with its sword nose. I looked towards the swordfish. It said, "I can help you, but you're going to have to let go of the wheel." I looked at my hands. They wouldn't let go. I had to mentally pull one finger off at a time. I got out of the boat and hopped onto the swordfish's back.

The swordfish road me to the water's surface and then back to shore. I got off. I said to the swordfish, "Thanks, I owe you my life." The swordfish said, "You're welcome. But it's not a big deal, I happened to be passing by." I said, "I know, but I appreciate it." The swordfish nodded. I felt a connection between us. That made the whole thing worthwhile.

A Pleasant Surprise

Tonight I bought a cello. I brought it home and set it up in my living room. I sat with the cello, took out the bow and commenced playing. It sounded horrible. I tried for fifteen minutes and it actually got worse. I got frustrated and kicked over the cello and threw the bow in the trash can.

My cat came in through the pet door. She looked at the cello on the ground. She spotted the bow, got it out of the trash, turned the cello upright, sat down and began playing. She played a variation of Mendelssohn's 3rd in E flat. It was spot on. I couldn't believe it. Her playing made me cry.

When she was done, I said to her, "How can you be so good? You've never played the cello before."

She said, "Since you're allergic to me, I have a lot of time to myself. For the past three years I have spent that extra time over at Fullerton Community College taking cello lessons. You haven't heard me play before because I rent the cello from the school, and they won't let me remove it from the premises, so I practice at the college. I was actually going to surprise you with a private concert for your birthday in March, but when I saw you in your sullen state, I thought now is better than later."

I said, "Thank you so much!" I moved to pet her.

She backed away and said, "No, no, remember your allergies!"

I stopped and said, "Your compassion knows no bounds."

On the Flight to LA

Early this morning I took a flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles. I had a window seat by the emergency exit. I couldn't see past the wing, so I decided to take a nap. I nestled against the window and fell asleep.

In retrospect, I think what happened was I somehow got my jacket sleeve entangled around the emergency exit's handle, and with basic sleepy time tossing and turning, I opened the emergency exit and flew out the window. I woke up as I was sailing through the air. I saw the plane off in the distance. The interesting thing is, I felt kind of stupid. That was funny to me because it's not like I was aware of what I was doing.

So I fell. I passed through a cloud. That was a weird experience because even though I know clouds aren't solid, I actually had a thought it would hurt upon impact. Then I sailed down past a flock of geese. The best part was seeing the look on the geese faces. I didn't know birds could be confounded. Then I dropped down past a passing airplane. I don't think I'll ever forget the look of amazement from a little kid gazing at me through one of the plane's windows. He waved and I waved back.

I looked down and saw the ground quickly approaching. I thought, "Well, it's been a good life. I wish it was longer, but you can't write the ending of your life." This is when the oddest of odd things happened. A thread from my jacket must have been stuck on the emergency exit doors latch, and it spindled from the plane to me and stopped spindling when it reached the jacket's double threaded waistband, so I was basically pulled from hitting the ground, and I became a kite behind the plane.

The plane's flight crew members reeled me in until I back inside the plane. Everyone in the plane was applauding. The flight crew closed the emergency door. I sat back down in my seat. I was happy I survived. It took a while for me to calm down.

The Day's Discoveries

I went out for a walk today along the Santa Cruz pier. I looked over the edge and saw a bunch of sea lions swimming in the water. They reminded me of dogs, the way they barked and played. I love dogs. I jumped off the pier and landed amidst the sea lions. I played with them like dogs. I chased them, they chased me. I pet the top of their heads.

They dove under the water. I followed them. They went hunting for lunch. They found a school of flounder and began devouring them. I was so excited that I joined in. I couldn't believe how delicious it was!

When we were done eating, we laid out on the parallel wooden posts under the pier and took a nap. I felt peaceful.

When I awoke, I was shivering and felt cold to my bones. I realized I wasn't meant to be a sea creature. I need warm clothes. I generally feel better on land. I said goodbye to my sea lion buddies.

I went back home. I went to the fridge and found a fresh salmon steak. I unwrapped it. I was going to prepare it for the oven, but instead found myself taking a bite of the raw meat. It didn't taste good. So I added herbs and oil and put it in a pan in the oven. In a half hour I took it out and ate it. It was pretty good!

Trying to Help

Earlier today there was a knock at my door. I answered and it was a tiger. I was too scared to say anything.

The tiger said, "This is really awkward but I escaped from the zoo this morning and I'm really hungry, and don't worry, I'm not going to eat you, but I was hoping you have some tuna. They only serve it once a month at the zoo and I really like tuna."

I relaxed and said, "Sure, come on in."

The tiger came in and we walked to my kitchen. I got out a can of tuna. I opened it. I put it on a plate and brought it to the kitchen table where the tiger was seated. The tiger took a bite of the tuna.

I said, "Do you have any plans for where you're going to go next now that you are free?"

The tiger said, "Probably back to the zoo. This tuna tastes like crap."

Surprise Assist

Today I took a break from working and walked into the woods. There was no path. I had to step over a lot of fallen trees and side step thick brush. About a mile into my hike, I came apon an easy chair. I was glad because I was tired and needed a rest.

I sat down. It was very comfortable. I was excited to discover that it reclined. I liked leaning back and looking up at the long tree trunks.

After about a half hour, I felt rested and walked back. Without a path, I was able to find my way back to where I entered. I think it's because I was clear headed from my resting up on the easy chair.

Driving Around Town

I was driving around San Francisco when there was an earthquake and the road cracked open and I couldn't stop from driving into the crevice. I free fell for about a minute and then I landed in an underground river. I remembered hearing about them in grade school. There are actual underground rivers running underground. I was so excited! I felt like I was white water rafting.

I must have been on it for a half hour. Suddenly I was ejected out and off the side of a cliff. I thought, "Oh, this can't be good." But then I landed on a cloud. The fog is so thick in the Bay Area that it can support a car. Eventually I got close to a road running along one of the cities hills and easily transitioned to the asphalt. I thought, "Things have an interesting way of working out."

Inspiration

I took a walk in the woods. I came upon a birch tree.

I said, "Hi, how's it going?"

The birch tree said, "I'm okay. What's up with you?"

I said, "I'm thinking about starting a paper business. We would make paper from the finest birch trees in the forest. The quality of the parchment would be of the utmost. Are you interested in being a part of this enterprise?"

The birch said, "Sure, that sounds good to me."

I got out my buzz saw and cut down the birch tree.

I'm noticing how I inspire others with my enthusiasm.

On the Road

I was driving to Michigan yesterday morning. I was on the freeway, going along pretty well, until traffic came to a halt. After an hour it still hadn't moved. I got frustrated. I got out of my car and walked to see if I could find out what was happening.

It turns out some forest animals had built a blockade of trees across the freeway. Standing by the trees was a badger, two bears, six antelope, 3 armadillos, 5 raccoons, an eagle, and 15 mice. They had enough of the freeway noise and used their methods to put a stop to it. People were yelling at the animals. The animals were refusing to budge.

I said, "You know, it is a lot quieter without the traffic. I think they have a valid point."

But then I thought to myself, "I wonder if I said that because I'm so captivated by animals?"

How it Came Together

I like to walk down alleyways. They are private and I can sing out loud without being embarrassed. Yesterday I was walking down the alley, singing the piano variations of Rhapsody in Blue, when I heard a rustling in a trash can. I stopped to figure out what was causing that noise. A raccoon stuck its head out.

The raccoon said, "Why did you stop singing? I'm playing along with you."

I said, "Oh, sorry."

I went back to singing. I noticed the racoon's trash can playing was a perfect syncing of the bass notes of the piece I was performing. I really enjoyed the combination of our sounds. I kept singing till I finished the piece. When I was done, the raccoon stuck out its head.

I said, "Do you want to form a band?"

The raccoon said, "Yes!"