Woken Up

I got woken up from my sleep by a mouse tapping on my nose. I asked what was so important.

The mouse said, "I'm cold. Would you mind if I slept with you?"

I wanted to go back to sleep so I said yes. The mouse got under the covers and spooned me. We both fell fast asleep.

Soon I was awakened by the cat.

The cat said, "I'm lonesome and I'm willing to forgo my hatred of the mouse to sleep with the two of you."

The mouse nodded and of course I wanted to sleep so I said yes too. The cat got under the covers and spooned the mouse, who spooned me, and we were soon sleeping. 

Not long after, I was awakened by the Moon. I raised a questioning eyebrow. 

The Moon said, "I'm scared of the dark. Can I join you three?" 

Normally I would have imagined I'd say no because the Moon is so bright at night. But the Moon was inside and not able to reflect the Sun's rays. So I said yes.

The Visit

Last night I was woken by strange sounds outside my house. I went out to discover Saturn.

I asked what was up.

Saturn said, "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

I said yes. Saturn said, "I came across the Universe to see you, but didn't realize I would be arriving so late at night."

I asked what it was that was so important.

Saturn said, "Nothing really. I just missed you."

Sweet

I got frustrated with things in general and left my house and began walking north. I walked along streets until I found myself walking through fields.

Soon I was passing through the woods. That's when I came upon the bear. The bear was sitting on a log, eating honey with it's paw from a beehive.

The bear said, "Would you like some?"

I said yes, which turned out to be a big mistake because when I stuck my hand into the beehive I got repeatedly stung. Still I grabbed a hunk of honey, pulled out my hand, and took a big slurp.

The bear said, "Pretty good, huh?"

I said yes. I couldn't believe something could taste so good!

Closer

Come closer, closer, almost, yes, right there.

The Walk

This morning I walked hand-in-hand with God through the clover fields. We talked about how we had a desire to see Zoolander 2 but had an innate sense that it would be disappointing.

Then we went over God's list of which species to make extinct this week. God is pretty creative and gets quickly bored with what's been done. God had humans at the top of the list. You'll be glad that I suggested storks and edamame instead.

Then God let me ask my question for the week. I asked how come I sometimes do dumb things that I know will make me feel like crap. God said, "So you can enjoy the times you don't."

The Rock

I was curious about an oddly shaped rock. I picked it up from the ground. Suddenly there was a sucking sound coming from the hole left in the ground from the rock's absence. Neighboring rocks moved towards the hole and were quickly sucked into the vacancy.

Soon the same end was met by sticks, clumps of grass, and trash. I saw a scorpion, then a rabbit dragged against its will, disappearing into the vacant space.

I soon felt my feet sliding across the ground towards the hungry hallow. It was then I realized that I'd pulled an earth plug. I'd read about them in Arthur C. Clarke's 3027: Earth's Tell-Tale Tumult. If not replugged, the Earth itself would be swallowed up whole just like a snake eating itself tale first. 

Just before what would have been my last moment, I replaced the oddly shaped rock. The sucking stopped. Every thing was still again. 

I took a picture of the rock in case you see it. In other words, don't pick it up.

Tug

Today is my fifth year as a tug-boat driver.

I took this job to help me recover from the incredible deluge of stress and strain I experienced from being first chair oboe player in the Berlin Harmonic Orchestra. (Sorry to my blog readers during that time for having to read and endure my frantic and eccentric posts.)

I now have a great deal amount of time by myself as I steer and guide the tugboat through Olmwich Harbor in the port of Philadelphia. Music is still a part of me though as I often hum melodies I hypnotically pull from the ether.
   
Below is a photo I took of my boat. It's the only paddle-wheel tug boat on the east coast. I call it the Ovaltiner.

Home

I feel like opening up and telling you that I live in a kettle drum. Not all the time. Just when I come home from work.

I like living in this particular kind of drum because of its concave base. It allows me to lounge which is important because I like to take it easy.

The kettle drum has been my home for about seven years. You're invited to visit me. But not on Friday or Saturday nights, or Sunday afternoon because the drum is part of the Santa Rosa symphonic series. I'm inside the drum at those times and enjoying the performance, and unfortunately when the lid is fastened there isn't enough room for two.

Justice

I got an early morning visit from the ghost of Justice Antonin Scalia. We went outside and took a walk along the creek.

The ghost of Justice Scalia said, "When I was a boy, I used to walk along the crick behind our home. I'd get mesmerized by the hypnotic sounds of the water over the rocks, losing track of the hours. I'd sometimes walk all the way to the next county before I'd realize. I'd run home knowing that my ma would be waiting with the switch. I would often day-dream that I'd run into a circus and they'd take me with them and I could avoid the strict punishment awaiting me at home. But I would always return, knowing it was best."

I said that must have been hard. I shared that my parents only spanked me once because I threw a snowball at a passing car.

The ghost of Justice Scalia held my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

My New TV Show

I was feeling distraught because I lost my job as an accountant. My wife got tired of my moping around the house all day and said I should take the opportunity to follow my dreams.

So I spoke with some local veterinarians and raised the money to produce a TV show called Brooks, As He Talks with the Animals. On the show I interview various animals. Some from zoos, some from the woods, some strays.

On yesterday's show I interviewed a skunk. I asked how it will able to maintain its coiffed bouffant. The skunk thanked me but said it was naturally arranged. I asked the skunk if I could pet it with one of those high quality pet brushes. The skunk said yes.

The skunk's hair was thick. I couldn't believe it had no knots!

Self-P

 

This is a likeness of me. I did it late at night when I had less thoughts. 

The Solution

I was supposed to go on my Wednesday evening walk through the woods with God, but God was a no-show. I waited an additional hour, but nope.

I got all riled up and kicked a tree.

The tree said, "Hey, what's the big deal?"

I apologized and explained about my fuming.

The tree said, "I get it...but how about you and I hang out instead?" I said okay.

An hour later the tree and I were deep in a discussion when God showed up.

God said to me, "Hey, Brooks, sorry I'm late. Would you still like to go for a walk?"

I looked at the tree and back to God. God said, "Well?" I looked back at the tree and sighed. God said, "I have a solution."

Two treadmills suddenly appeared on either side of the tree. The next thing I knew the three of us were on a walk together.