The Solution

When I was a kid, my mom once put a fresh cigarette in my lunch box. She felt that since I was a skinny and pale kid, the cigarette would give me a tough image and bullies would leave me alone.

So I smoked the cigarette during lunch. I coughed a lot, and had to go to the infirmary.

The school nurse said that the problem was I was smoking Pall Malls and would do better switching to Kools.

Today's Title

Sometimes I'll go out in my backyard and stand still long enough that a bird thinks I'm a tree and lands on me.

From then on it's not very enjoyable.

I like to sit. It makes the chair happy.

What I Woke To

I woke up this morning to discover every animal in the zoo sleeping on or next to my bed, plus the hallway and living room.

It turns out there was a fire in the zoo last night and all the animals escaped and came to my house.

Normally that sounds like an amazing and once-in-a-lifetime experience, but I've spent the whole day buying and putting down hay all over my house, as well as shopping for an army load of vegetables, raw meat, and apples, and the incessant feeding.

I think the hardest part is having to pet every one of the creatures. They're soooooooo needy!

The Well

I went to the wishing well. I tossed in my quarter. But instead of a splashing sound, I heard my quarter hit the rocky ground.

I asked what was the deal.

The wishing well said, "I'm out of water."

I asked if that would diminish the power of my wish.

The wishing well said, "Really?"

Me and the Sun

 

http://tinyurl.com/nuz25vh

When I Worked for NASA

Back before the Hubble telescope, Nasa sent me into space with a pad of paper and a pack of oil pastels. They asked me to paint pictures of what I saw. This is an image from the X9Z-1 galaxy of a planet called Bob.

You can find more images at http://tinyurl.com/nuz25vh

The Brooks Palmer Traveling Internet Pastel Show Now Open!

This is my self-portrait. This is how I look when I'm calm.  

You can see this and the rest of my catalog of original pastels at http://tinyurl.com/nuz25vh

Wishing

I went to the wishing well and put in a quarter. I didn't say anything.

The wishing well said, "Do you have a wish or not?"

I said that I was feeling confused because when I get what I want, I'm really happy, but that happiness quickly fades and I want something else.

The wishing well said, "Then you just wish for something new."

I said that it seems like an endless cycle.

The wishing well said, "Why do you think I got into this business?"

The Pond

I was walking through the woods when I came up a reflecting pond.

I looked into the pond and saw a horse looking back. I actually turned around and looked behind me, but there was no one.

I looked back to the pond. I admired my brown lustrous coat.

Out for a Walk

I took my dog Rexy out for a walk this evening.

We didn't say anything to each other for quite a while.

Finally my dog Rexy said, "I think of you as my person."