Fell Back

I was sitting on my couch, watching TV when I fell through a hole in time. I landed in the backyard of the home I lived in when I was a kid. And there I was, five years old, playing with my Tonka trucks in the grass. I looked up from my toys and saw me, sitting on the lawn, looking back.

The current me said, "Hi. This is going to seem weird, but it's me, I mean you...Brooks, when you're older."

The 5 year old me said, "Yeah, I was thinking I recognized you...Why are you here?"

The now me said, "It's just one of those things."

The younger me said, "Okay. Do you want to play?"

I said, "Yes."

We played with the trucks. I forgot how much fun it is.

In the Way

I don't like going to sleep because I have to stop doing what I'm doing, change into pajamas, brush and floss my teeth, take out my contacts, turn out the lights, get into bed, close my eyes, lay there, fall asleep, start doing something completely different in a dream, then wake up, take a shower, put my contacts back in, shave, brush, my teeth - and then go back to what I was doing.

Flight

This morning I was building a model airplane. It was a Bendix model of a 747 that Boeing produced back in 1972. I was a kid when the full sized plane came out. I remember reading about it in Aviation Times. It had a thick transparent lucite lid that allowed passengers to to look up at the sky at night and see amazingly clear stars. During day flights people would lay their seats back and enjoy the sunlight on their faces.

I was a dumb kid and I didn't understand why the plane had to have a lid. I thought it would have been great to have the top be open air. I imagined birds would fly by and land on your lap. You could pet them. And if you were lucky enough, the bird wouldn't fly away and you could take it home after you landed.

The Process

Sometimes I can sit on my couch for hours, looking out the window at trees. I like imagining the books the trees will one day become.

Dinner!

Today I got my latest copy of Famous Monsters of Filmland in the mail. The main feature story is about a 1934 Universal Pictures movie called, "The Monster that Ate the Western Hemisphere". I was excited. I saw that movie when I was seven. It's amazing!

It's about a winged creature from the planet Zentz that comes to the Earth in search of food. It eats the Western Hemisphere. The rest of the world is screaming in fear that they are next. But the creature is full and leaves. People are afraid that the creature will return and eat them. But eight years pass. Everyone has forgotten about the fear and relaxes again.

But in another galaxy, the creature from Zentz writes and publishes a book about tasty delicacies in the Universe. He rates Earth five stars. It becomes a bestseller. Suddenly scores of monsters head to Earth for dinner. We don't see their gorging. But during the credits you hear the sounds of their eating.

Guests

This morning I took my boat out to the middle of the lake. I laid down, closed my eyes, and felt the sun warming my body. After a few minutes I felt the ripple of some strong waves sway the boat. I sat up.

A duck family swam by. The adult ducks fluttered their wings and quacked.

The male duck said, "Oh, my God, you startled us! We thought the boat was empty."

I said, "I'm sorry."

The female duck said, "Don't worry about it. My name's Derry. This is my husband, Glick and our two children Blenn and Gertie. We just flew in from Canada. We're looking for a new lake to call home."

I said, "I'm Brooks. I own that house on the shore. I guess I own the lake too. But there's plenty of space if you'd like to settle down."

Blenn and Gertie said to their parents, "Can we stay?!? Please, please, please!!!"

Glick and Derry said yes.

I laid back down on my boat. I closed my eyes. I enjoyed the sways from the ripples.

Confession

I'm nice now. But I used to be an asshole. I remember once getting a bumper sticker made up that said, "Honk if you love Satan." I put it on my back bumper. Then on Sunday morning around nine am I got in the fast lane on Lake Shore Drive (the local freeway) where the speed limit is 50 mph and I would go 25 mph. People behind me would be on their way to church. They would want to honk, but couldn't. I could see it in the driver's faces in my rear view mirror. Their cheeks would be red and they looked like they were going to explode. In retrospect I don't feel badly about what I did, because I helped them test their faith.

Playing Sports

I belong to a softball league. It's mostly men and a few women. We are all entrepreneurs. A few of us are good at baseball. Mostly we joined the league to give us something to do other than our businesses. We are pretty much work-a-holics.

I'm the first baseman. I like the position because I have to be on my toes. When I was in the outfield I would space out and start thinking about my business. Then someone would hit a ball out to where I was standing and they were guaranteed an extra base because I was as far as ready to get it as someone at home who had no idea we were playing.

I think I like the getting dressed up part the most. My pants are ultra white. I have cleats on my shoes. And I get to wear a protective cup. I think it's the closest I've come to the feeling of Halloween I had as a kid. I loved that holiday because for a day it got me out of thinking about school.

New Job

I've been busy lately, so I haven't been able to write my usual number of blogs. The reason is I've started a new job as the quality control junior assistant at the Jones Mayer Chicken Egg farm located in Ottumwa, Iowa. I inspect all the eggs to make sure they meet the highest standards. I was hired because I have a good eye for details. Also I'm kind to the chickens. I always make sure to say, "Excuse me, do you mind if I take a look at your eggs?"

Some of my friends have asked me if I still enjoy eating eggs, for instance as a breakfast meal. The answer is, yes, I do.

The one thing that only one person knows is that once when I was inspecting eggs, one of them hatched. A little chick pecked its way out and stuck its face through the opening. It looked around. I introduced myself. The chick chirped. I've never been the kind of guy who likes to have a pet. But on this day, I couldn't help myself. I asked my supervisor, and he said it would be okay for me to take the chick home. I did. I built a cage and put in a hay straw nest and added the chick. I call her Henrietta. When I get home from work, I put her on my lap and we watch TV together.

Rafting

This morning I took my raft for a ride down the river. I rode past the Denninger house. They were having breakfast out on their deck. They waved. I floated by a beaver gnawing down a tree for its dam. It winked. I floated alongside a school of trout. We stayed at the same speed for about five minutes. They were as surprised as me.

I got so caught up in my ride that I didn't realize how far I'd gone. Soon I rode out onto the ocean. I'd never gone that far. It didn't help that there was a storm. The waves were sometimes ten feet tall. I was worried that I'd fall off. I'm not that great of a swimmer.

Just when I thought I couldn't hang on any longer, a whale lifted me up out of the water. It waited until the storm was over and set me back down on the now gentler waters. I thanked the whale. It nodded, blew out water, and went on its way.

I rode back to the river, and then paddled my way home. I put away my raft. I laid down on my bed. I thought about how things have been much better since I got over my fear of water last week.

Preservation

This morning I was taking a walk on the Moon. It's one of my favorite ways to exercise.

I suddenly came apon the place where Neil Armstrong took his first walk on the Moon. I was so excited to be there. I saw his footprints and I was in awe. I remembered my parents letting me stay up late so I could watch it live on TV.

I tried to be very careful and not step on the footprints, but it was hard because they were all over the place.

Finally I got frustrated and said, "What's the point?!" and I stepped all over them.

Once you make something special, you can destroy your life trying to maintain it.

Robin

I looked out my window and saw a robin trying to build a nest in a tree. It was having difficulty getting the pieces of grass and sticks to stay together. Parts of the nest would fall off. The robin flew down, picked up pieces and tried again. Eventually it stopped and stood on the branch. Its beak hang open. It's eyes were glazed over. It was exhausted.

The robin looked over at me. I smiled. The robin looked at it's attempt of a nest and looked back at me and shrugged its shoulders.

I took the screen off my window. I motioned the robin towards me. It waited a second to make sure. Then the robin flew into my apartment.

I moved some books off my book shelf. I took an old t-shirt and I put it in the vacant space. The robin flew onto the open shelf. It walked onto the t-shirt, adjusting it with its beak. The robin laid down, got comfortable and fell asleep.

I'm typing softly so as not to wake it.

Breakfast

This morning I went down to the river to fish for breakfast. I sat at the water's edge with my fishing line in the water for about an hour, hoping for a tasty catch.

Just then a trout poked its head out of the water. It said, "Um, I wish you wouldn't do that. Its dangerous for me. Plus I find it offensive."

I said, "I was just, I'm hungry, and...well...I'm sorry."

I got up and walked back to my house. I went in.

My wife said, "Any luck?"

I said, "No."

She could tell I was dejected.

She said, "Alright, who's up for pancakes?!!"

Adrift

Yesterday I took my air mattress down to Lake Michigan and laid out on the water. The waves were lightly choppy. The sun cascaded across my body as it peeked out between the clouds. The sea gulls sang me a private lullaby. So, of course, I fell asleep.

I woke up and it was night. I felt kind of disoriented as I often do when waking up from a nap. I sat up and looked around and couldn't see land. I felt dizzy. My mouth was dried out. I swirled a little water in my mouth. I figured I couldn't have drifted too far since the waves were light. I thought about paddling to help figure out my location, but I had no idea which direction to go.

An hour passed. The cold water was making my legs numb. I was shivering. I felt nauseous. It seemed to me like the air mattress was losing air. My life started flashing before my eyes.

I remembered when I was eight and my family got a pet bear. His name was Issac. A local circus had gone under and was selling everything and we got him for pretty cheap. He became one of the family. I took Issac for walks everyday. I used to get hassled by a bully named Mark. I'll never forget the look on Mark's face when he was waiting at the play ground to mug me and he saw Issac. I was certain that for a couple of seconds his heart had stopped.

I reminisced about the first girl I went steady with. Her name was Letti. She was a foreign exchange student from Latvia. She spoke very little English. I used to stand next to her in the lunch line. She would let my arm slightly and briefly rub up against her arm.

I thought about the time I got locked by accident in an airplane bathroom on a flight from Chicago to the Philippines. The flight attendants tried to dismantle the door but they couldn't force it open. I was stuck in the bathroom the whole 12 hour flight. The hardest part for me was when people knocked on the door and asked how much longer I was going to be in there.

I remembered when I was 12 and ran away from home. I was tired of my parents' strict ways and I figured this would bring some changes from their end. I called my parents three days later. I figured they would be worried and sad. They said they were excited for me that I felt comfortable enough to go out on my own. I was left with no choice but to get my own apartment. It was five blocks away from my parents' home. I went to their place every Saturday to do laundry.

The flood of memories and low blood sugar left me disenchanted. I figured the air mattress would soon go flat and I would drown. I was without hope. I figured why extend the misery. I jumped into the water. I touched bottom. The water was to my chest. I was stunned. I waded thirty feet and reached the shore.

There was my towel, waiting for me on the sand. I hadn't gone anywhere. The darkness and resulting diminished vision had brought about the confusion.

I looked around to make sure no one had noticed.

Today's Interaction

I went to the Art Institute in Chicago today. I stopped in front of the Marc Chagall stained glass window display. The sun was streaming through the blue panes onto my skin. I felt like the sky had come down and was giving me a hug. Some tears came to my eyes.

I thought, "Oh, no. This can't be good."

I tried to soak up the tears with my jacket sleeve.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and it was the ghost of Chagall.

He said, "I cried the whole time I was working on that piece."

I said, "That was okay because you were alone in your studio. I'm embarrassed about crying in public."

He said, "Oh." I could tell he didn't know what to say. He slunked off around the corner.

I felt badly. It can be really hard getting along with others.

Today

The rest of the day only cost me a quarter. Though I had to pull it out of my ass.

Revelation

I was addicted to bowling. I bowled everyday, sometimes three times a day. I even got an apartment that was across the street from a bowling alley. The thing that sucked about it was it didn't make me a better bowler. I still bowled, on average, 42 points. I signed up for classes, bought how to books, took up smoking, I even used the gutter ball preventer rail, but alas to no benefit.

I relaxed and stopped trying to fix it when I read a book by Professor Felix Henderson called "So What?" He said that we all have addictions. He confessed that his was for cheese.

Lighting Up

Last night I was paid by the city 0f Chicago to sit on a boat in Lake Michigan and light fireworks. It was profoundly easy and soothing to do the lighting.

I've always liked starting fires. My parents taught me when I was five. They were heavy smokers and there were matches and lighters all over the place. They knew I was curious and would try it out on my own. To keep the house from burning down, they taught me by having them light their cigarettes and pipes. I didn't mind because I like being of service.

Mine

I bought an acre of land. It's in Lake Erie. It's about fifteen miles off the coast of Cleveland. Sometimes I take a boat out there and set an anchor. I sit and enjoy my property.

Sometimes people on a boat will come by and I tell them they are trespassing. I show them my deed. They read it and apologize and move on.